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Autistic TikTok Hate

By Shannine O’Neill

**EXCLUSIVE**

THIS MUM-OF-TWO has hit back at cruel ableists after being accused of “spoiling” her autistic daughter because for the past FOUR YEARS she has only walked barefoot and refuses to wear socks and shoes due to her condition.

Carer and parent Madison Grantham (31) from Norfolk, UK started posting her autistic daughter’s refusal to wear socks and shoes on TikTok in August 2022 and has received both surprise and outrage from online trolls.

Some of the most hateful comments Madison has received has included that “she shouldn’t be allowed out in public” and that Maya only doesn’t wear her shoes because Madison lets her do so and that she “spoils” her rather than disciplining her.

Other ableist comments include how other autistic children don’t have this problem, so therefore Maya must be just “walking all over her mum” and how she shouldn’t be using a “wheelchair” because other people “need them more”, as well as stating that “she will grow out of it” rather than understanding Maya’s autism and sensory issues.

Madison’s daughter Maya (7) was diagnosed with autism at the age of six, but displayed discomfort wearing socks or shoes on her feet at the age of three.

Maya would cry and refuse to wear socks and shoes when asked by her mother, who stayed home with her for six weeks trying to get her to put on shoes when leaving the house, to no avail.

Madison finally gave up trying with Maya and let her go out with them barefoot, as it was the most comfortable Maya would be.

After two years, Madison began posting videos of Maya on TikTok in the hopes of educating people on ‘invisible disabilities’.

With Madison’s TikTok account @mayasmoonplay showing Maya’s life gaining traction with over 2.8M likes and one video going viral with over 7.7M views, online followers have let their opinions be known.

Although Madison did receive some positive comments, she received a lot of hate on her videos that showed Maya walking outside barefoot.

Some of the worst comments Madison remembers is that she should “force her” to wear shoes no matter what and that she “shouldn’t be allowed outside”.

Other comments included calling Madison “embarrassing” because she allows Maya to walk without shoes and calling Maya “spoilt” because her mother doesn’t force her to wear shoes like “other autistic kids” who are “fine” with shoes and socks.

These comments could cause someone to be extremely upset, but Madison uses it as fuel to educate others about autism and invisible disabilities.

“Lots of people were equally surprised and outraged by my videos”, she said.

“People will say I should force her and she shouldn't be allowed out in public and generally really ableist comments.

“Honestly, I feel more empowered to educate people about Invisible disabilities like autism so people might think twice about judging someone based on their appearance or ability.”

Maya’s refusal to wear shoes and socks has had its impact on her family at times.

“It was quite instant and she stopped completely wearing shoes”, she said.

“She would just cry and refuse every time we tried to put them on.

“We struggle in the winter when it's cold as we can't really go out.

“We will nip out in the car and do inside activities only.

“But people do stare much more when it's particularly cold or raining.”

Madison was luckily able to purchase a specialised pushchair for Maya that is essentially much heavier weight and height than most, meaning it can be used until she is around ten-years-old and can be used as her “safe space”.

“Maya has a specialist buggy which is essentially a pushchair but it holds a much heavier weight and height and should last her hopefully until she's at least ten”, she said.

“Most pushchairs would probably be reaching the weight and height by four so we are really lucky these pushchairs have been designed in mind for older children who need them.

“I always have it with me just in case.

“Maya uses it as her safe space when she's feeling overwhelmed.

“It also comes in handy where the ground can be too hot, cold or there's glass or rubbish in a wide area.”


Maya’s diagnosis wasn’t an easy thing to achieve, as Madison fought to have Maya diagnosed for five years but finally got the official diagnosis at the age of six.

Madison found it incredibly difficult to have Maya officially diagnosed as it is a lot more difficult for young girls to be diagnosed than boys.

“It was very difficult. It took five years,” she said.

“The diagnostic criteria is not built for autistic girls who typically present differently to autistic boys.

“She started showing discomfort with socks and shoes at the age of three, at the beginning of 2020.

“We kept trying every time we needed to leave the house but there was no success.

“I even stayed at home for six weeks straight until she put them on but there was no changing her mind.”

Maya’s diagnosis has been difficult at times for their family, but Madison has learned ways to make Maya’s life that much easier, which is why she wants to educate those who leave nasty comments on her videos that there are many hidden layers to an invisible disability.

“It can be difficult in situations where she's overwhelmed, but in general we don't dwell on the difficulties and work great as a team to keep her regulated and happy,” she said.

“It's more tricky to navigate in the winter when it's cold and raining so outside activities are very limited.

“Maya has full autonomy over her body, what she wears etc.

“She will wear the same outfit every single day for months so we generally need to source multiple pairs which I have managed to do over the years.

“People always ask on TikTok why she's wearing the same clothes on our videos but she has a clean pair everyday it's just exactly the same.”

Maya has seen doctors and experts in relation to her autism and sensory issues, but was told they would not be able to fund any treatment such as occupational therapy.

“Maya went to all her assessments and doctors appointments barefoot,” she said.

“They said she would benefit from occupational therapy.

“But they said they don't fund this for sensory in our area.”

Although doctors have given some options for Maya to improve her sensory issues, Madison is keen for people to understand that every autistic person is different, so it is nearly impossible to know whether Maya will ever change her stance on shoes and socks.

“Nobody knows the answer to this question,” she said.

“All autistic adults were once autistic children which I think is important to remember.

“Autism isn't fluid, the same as any other person she will change as she grows.

“We also do have barefoot shoes that we take out with us everywhere and are hoping one day she is able to put them on.”

ENDS