A British couple have opened up about their lives as swingers and revealed why it’s something “everyone should consider”.

Jemma, 43, and Daz, 40, have a thriving decade-long relationship but admitted that five years in, after doing just about “every sexually adventurous thing you can do as a couple”, their eyes were “drawn elsewhere”.

The content creators, who are from and live in Bournemouth, realised that if their relationship style didn’t change, they were unlikely to go the distance.

They set up a profile on a swinging website and were soon invited to a private party at a mansion – and the rest is history.

They claim that while swinging is not everyone, it’s been a way for them to fulfil their sexual desires and make new friends in “high-class establishments” that are a world away from the “seedy bars and clubs” some associate with the lifestyle.

And now, they think that everyone should consider trying things their way.

“The more people we can get into the lifestyle, the more fun we can have,” Jem, who met Daz on Tinder, told https://whatsthejam.com.

“This lifestyle is not for everyone, [but] it is probably something everyone should consider.

“[It’s a way to] enhance your relationship and grow closer through mutual shared experiences.

“You can also build more trust with your partner and overcome underlying jealousy, attachment and ego issues.

“Then there’s body confidence.

“[Swinging can help you] feel good about your unique self while learning to appreciate the uniqueness in others – as well as embracing sex positivity and being comfortable communicating your sexual wants and needs.

“[You can meet] a social group of like-minded people and have a whole lot of fun because that's what life is all about!

“The majority of people in this lifestyle like to stay anonymous for obvious reasons, but we decided we were happy to talk openly about what we do to break some of the stigmas around it.”

For the couple, after their first foray into the world of swinging, they haven’t looked back since.

Jem said: “I won’t go into too much detail about that night [at the mansion] – just to say it was a real eye-opener and afterwards Daz and I decided this ‘lifestyle’ choice was definitely for us.

“Initially, the biggest challenge was jealousy (or the risk of it) – the thought of seeing your partner with another person is a scary one.

“For us, it was all about taking things slow, [to] see your partner first kissing another person, then maybe [being] naked next to another person with light touching.

“It was around 12 months before we had our first full ‘couple swap’ experience.”

For those unfamiliar with the term, a “full swap” means that two couples swap their respective partners for sex.

Jem said: “We allowed ourselves to become mentally accustomed to the act before partaking in it.

“You can’t take something back once it’s done.

“We advise anyone considering it to discuss your feelings regarding any play after it’s happened to make sure you are both still fully invested and enjoying the journey.”

The couple then revealed the unexpected upsides to joining a lifestyle that’s often thought to be “anonymous” as well as seedy.

Jem said: “People think this kind of lifestyle is an anonymous, one-and-done kind of arrangement, and I guess for some people it might be, but we really want to connect with couples first.

“[We] spend some time getting to know them [and] basically date them before anything sexual happens.

“The build-up is as much fun as the act for us.

“Whilst [swinging] is a growing community, it’s still a relatively small one so you pretty quickly find when you’re going to clubs and events, it’s like catching up with a group of friends.

“It’s a social thing as much as it is about having new sexual experiences.

“People wrongly think that it’s something seedy – that events are held in run-down pubs and clubs and they’re full of single men trying to get their rocks off.

“Events – at least the ones we go to – are held in high-class establishments, often dedicated trendy clubs or luxury residences.

“Guest lists are tightly controlled, so while some singles are allowed, it is usually a limited number and everyone is extremely respectful.

“If you play up then you’ll quickly be blacklisted from any future events.”

Jem and Daz advise anyone looking to get into the lifestyle to start out by downloading the SwingHub app, which can connect you with swingers in your local area.

Jem added: “Next, attend an event or club night. There is absolutely no pressure to do anything so for the first event just go along, have a drink and chat to some couples.

“Everyone is terrified of their first event, but once you go and see it’s just like any other night out – maybe with a few more people in underwear. You’ll soon relax.

“Also, the major one – be clear between you and your partner exactly what it is you’re looking to get out of it.

“You’re in this together.”

While the pair have been supported in their lifestyle by their friends, they’ve admitted that it does occasionally raise eyebrows – especially as neither had previously been non-monogamous.

Jem said: “Our friends have all been pretty supportive. Some ask questions and think it’s really exciting.

“We don’t want to be ‘that’ couple at a vanilla event where everyone’s whispering ‘they’re swingers!’, but it does happen.

“It sometimes bothers me, but Daz finds it hilarious.

“Neither of us have been non-monogamous previously.

“I was married for around nine years and prior to that was in a couple of long-term relationships, which were always faithful but almost always ended due to lack of interest in the bedroom department.

“Daz on the other hand mostly had short-term ‘flings’ as he might call them – getting bored quickly and moving on to the next.

“Looking back, it’s clear to see neither of us really suited a monogamous relationship.”

ENDS

EDITOR’S NOTE: Please note the couple have chosen not to include surnames.