A wedding planner has shared the one tell-tale sign a marriage will fail and revealed her top tips for a successful big day.



Robin Yarusso, 43, has been a planner for 20 years and says some of the big indicators of a doomed marriage include "hiding financial changes" and problem mothers-in-law during the planning process. "

Keeping in touch her brides and grooms on social media, Robin has seen the marriages that end in separation first hand.

Successful marriages are those will usually have a "low conflict wedding party" with all guests getting along, and an emotional groom is said to be a sign the nuptials will be long lasting. "

She also advises couples going through the planning process currently to "shut down the noise" of family and friends to have the wedding the want - as she says "meddling mothers" are the biggest sign a marriage will fail."

Robin, a wedding planner, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, said: "I think we all know the core causes for divorce include financial or trust issues, and a lack of respect of boundaries. "

"You can see that during the wedding planning process almost immediately. "

"If they're hiding financial changes it may be a bit of an indicator of financial hidings later in the marriage. "

"Mothers are a big one – and I don't know why but the groom's mother is usually the one I catch on to. "

"The groom's mother will intrude in ways she shouldn't and will be making comments that are passive aggressive towards the bride or bridesmaids. "

"That can be fine if the groom says ‘mom knock it off'. "

"If the groom says ‘that's just mom, that's just the way she is', that's when problems arise". "

With most of Robin's business coming from family friends and referrals, she is often connected to her previous couples on social media.

"You'll see it – posts about the mother-in-law and once they get divorced posts saying ‘I'm glad I don't have an evil mother-in-law anymore," she said. "

"I think that there's so many layers to it. "

"If a mom is overly involved and overly opinionated that's going to carry into when they have children and purchase homes. "

"Usually when there's problems, issues and concerns people tend to vent to family - the bride will call her mother, the groom will call his mom too. "

"If the mom is not founded in meddling behaviour, she'll be solution based and push the son back to the root cause how of how to fix it. "

"If the mom is passive aggressive to the bride she will almost wallow with their son - he can do no wrong, it's all the brides' fault". "

A lack of respect can always cause problems on the big day according to Robin.

She said: "Cake smashing or smudging cake in each other's face is fine if it's agreed ahead of time. "

"A lot of brides say no as they've had their hair and makeup done and have spent thousands on it. "

"If someone still goes ahead and does it, it can be a lack of respect. "

"It's an aggressive behaviour towards someone you love and it's a big disrespect". "

Alongside the signs of a marriage leading to failure, Robin can also tell when a couple are set to thrive.

She said: "If they have a low conflict wedding party that's a good sign they're all getting along. "

"If I can see specifically the bride's friends, family, bridesmaids and mother-in-law – if they're close with the groom they trust him."



"If I see a divide there's distrust towards the man. "

"And a super emotional groom who cries as soon as the bride walks down the aisle is emotionally intelligent and connected to the bride in that moment. "

"There's so many moments that get extremely stressful during the day. "

"Something will go wrong, like a cake will fall on the floor for example. "

"If they laugh about it, of course they'll be upset, but if they're laughing together they're going to be fine because life is full of stressful moments". "

Robin decided to start sharing her tips and signs on social media after a conversation with one of her recent brides' mothers.

She said: "She started asking me, ‘Alright Robin I know you've seen a lot of marriages fail'. "

"It started an organic conversation. "

"One of the bridesmaids said, ‘Girl this is what you should be sharing on TikTok'". "

Robin's top tips for a successful wedding includes creating a calm atmosphere and making guests a priority.

She said: "Obviously having a wedding that is true to the two of you and not what everyone else wants is important. "

"You have to learn to shut down the mom noise, dad noise, the noises of family and friends. "

"If you're having a wedding with guests those guests should be a priority. "

"Yes it's your day but their experience should be a priority. "

"Select a wedding party that is conducive to a calm environment. "

"You might have 10 cousins you might want to include but you can include them in other ways without having them all in a gown next to you. "

"Plan for the wedding you can afford and don't go into debt for one special day. "

"Don't plan for the wedding, plan for marriage"."