A swinging coach has revealed the one trait couples need to have to enter a successful open relationship - and the mistake clients make most when starting out in the lifestyle.

Rosie Kay, 37, was "frightened but intrigued" when she went to her first swinging club in 2012 aged 24. "

After having her "eyes opened" by the experience, she began exploring the world of "ethical non-monogamy" - where individuals agree to have multiple romantic or sexual partners with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved."

Rosie - who is currently in a relationship - decided to share her experiences online during the covid lockdown in 2020, and became inundated with questions from people looking to explore the world of swinging.

Noticing "a bit of a gap the market", she decided to re-train as a relationship coach, and after qualifying she began taking on clients as a swinging coach. "

She does zoom calls with clients all over the world with her sessions starting at £60 an hour.

She says couples must be "honest" before they enter into an open relationship or it "won't work" and could cause issues, and says the mistake most couples make is "not realising their partner has their own individual desires and have their own unique wants and needs". "

Rosie hopes her services will "help people navigate the world of ethical non-monogamy"."

Rosie, from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, said: "I help people live a life that is authentic to them and free from the constraints that monogamy and society places on them. "

"I want to be the person that I wish I'd had when I first started out exploring the lifestyle."

"I don't want anyone else to make the mistakes that I did - like feeling like you have to perform - I wish I'd had a me to talk to and ask questions. "

"The most common mistake I see my clients make is failing set rules and boundaries."

"I see this in single people who think that because they are single, they don't need to set personal boundaries, and I see it in couples where they fail to talk about what they are and aren't OK with, and end up doing far too much far too soon."

"My number one tip for starting swinging is to always look at your fears, worries and concerns first."

"Before you start anything, let's talk about those niggling doubts, because everyone has them."

Rosie - who says she's always identified as bisexual - was introduced to swinging in her early twenties by her "older, more sexually experienced" boyfriend at the time."

She claims she was "very much against it" at first but after "lots of conversations" she decided to attend her first swingers club to explore her bisexuality. "

Rosie said: "I was scared at first, but I was curious to explore my bisexuality so I didn't shut it down completely. "

"I went to my first swingers club and it really opened my eyes. "

"It showed me that there is another way to practice relationships."

"It doesn't have to be one thing or the other, there is a grey area."

Rosie uses her personal experiences as a swinger to help other people exploring alternative relationships.

She has built an online community of 27.8k followers on TikTok, and a successful coaching business where she has 20 clients on her books at a time.

She said: "I spent years figuring out what I like and don't like. "

"I made loads of mistakes, but I learnt from them."

"Over time I became more comfortable and confident. "

"Now I want to use my experience to help people successfully navigate a world that is quite stigmatised, and explore it without shame and fear."

"I teach couples that you can have your cake and eat it."

Rosie's tips for swinging / entering an open relationship are -
1 - Talk about your fears and worries first.
2 - Don't settle for the first couple that come along. Swinging is more than just sex, it's all about the chemistry and communication. Don't jump into bed with the first couple that come along.
3 - It's important to build connection with both people in the other couple. Rosie said: "I often see this with men, who only focus on the woman. You need to be open to all parties, and it's the wrong approach to alienate the man."
4 - The sex part makes up a small percentage - it's about how you make people feel.
5 - Take time to reflect afterwards - what went wrong and what went right. Be really honest, take time to reconnect and asses. Swinging is all about communication
6 - Larger swinging events can be better for beginners than smaller groups. Bigger groups allow more opportunities to connect. There can be more pressure at smaller events.

Mistakes to avoid -
1- Don't feel pressure to wear an outfit or lingerie that makes you feel uncomfortable.
2 - Never presume consent from your partner - even when just talking about what you'd like to explore.
3- Don't feel pressure to move too fast or do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

To find out more information, visit thiskindagirl.co.uk