A couple in an open marriage date other people regularly and don't get jealous due to their "clear communication and feelings for each other"."



Hayley Folk, 30, and her husband, Kyle, 45, a guitar technician, have been married since February 2024 and decided to enter into an open relationship - where both partners agree each may have sex with others - from the get go.

She and Kyle say there's one reason they don't get jealous of each others' dalliances – clear communication.

And they also see a therapist who has helped them with open relationships and polyamory.

They describe themselves as polyamorous - often called consensual non-monogamy, it's the practice of having multiple intimate relationships, whether romantic or sexual, with the full knowledge and consent of all involved.



Hayley identifies as bisexual and often dates and sleeps with men and women she meets through dating apps, although feeling "overwhelming" by them she prefers to meet people organically."



Hayley describes herself as a 'unicorn' for other couples – a third person that enters an already established relationship for sexual or emotional reasons, or both - and says she enjoys helping others to "fulfil a sexual fantasy or void in a relationship"."



The couple don't have limits on how many people they can date at one time, but talk to each other when feeling "oversaturated". "

Hayley, a sex and relationships writer, from New York City, New York, US, said: "I think the clear communication about our feelings for each other is helpful in navigating our journey. "

"We have a couples therapist who has helped us a lot and has helped us with open relationships and polyamory. "

"We also talk a lot about things we find attractive in other people, it's a fun thing for us. "

"I think the clear communication about our feelings for each other is helpful in navigating our journey. "

"Maybe we won't go on a date if there's a lot going on in life. "

"We don't mind if a relationship is sexual and emotional but one of the boundaries we used to have is we didn't stay the night with other people. "

"But I think as our relationship has grown and changed that has now changed too". "

Hayley first acknowledged she was bisexual aged 21 and, after opening up the relationship she was in at the time, she says she realised "very quickly" she was polyamorous."



After finding herself single in 2019, Hayley moved to New York and started dating as a polyamorous woman.



She says it's when she first became a unicorn for other couples - even forming a close "long-term" relationship with one of them."



Hayley said: "I was previously married, I got married really young at age 22."



"I realised very quickly I was polyamorous as I had the capacity to love more than one person in a romantic way."



"After my divorce, from my experience I've been a unicorn a few times and it's mostly been sexually based."



"It depends on the person but typically it would just be sexually based, going on a date and going back to theirs. "

"Sometimes it can be a one off, sometimes it can be multiple times a year. "

"The last one I'd been in was with a woman I had been with before when I was single, and she had a husband who had not had a threesome before."



"I also had a longer term relationship with a couple."



"We travel a lot together – we've been to five or six places, we've been to London, Hawaii, Mexico and places in the States obviously. "

"Usually we go on vacation together and go out to dinner, but also we spend weeks together at a time depending on if I'm visiting them. "

"That's more day-to-day stuff. "

"It can be really special." "

After Hayley's first marriage ended, she decided to only enter into open relationships.



She said: "I moved to New York and I started dating people and told them I was polyamorous. "

"I would say it was about four years ago [Hayley first experienced being a unicorn] and it was in New York with a couple I had met on a dating app. "

"It was just really fun and I could see how positive it could be. "

"A unicorn essentially is a hard to find person who you want to bring into a relationship, it's usually a woman but it can be a man or anyone of any gender."



"It's essentially a person who is going to fulfil a sexual fantasy or void in a relationship."



"Say one person is queer and the other isn't, and they want to bring another person in to be with the wife. "

"I've never been uncomfortable enough to leave a situation, but I know others that have."



"Some couples don't ethically hunt for a unicorn, sometimes they use persuasion to get someone to interact with them, or buy someone loads of drinks and they can't consent."



"My ethical take is if you're going to unicorn hunt or be a unicorn it should be done ethically and respectfully."



"It means talking about boundaries and consent for everyone there, not just talking about what one person or the man wants, which is very common."



"There is a phrase in unicorn culture used which is 'if the wife is not talking in the situation and the man is – run'."



"That's an indicator the woman is not as on board with it." "

Hayley's marriage to husband Kyle - who she was friends with for many years before they made it official - is thriving.



The couple practice ethical non-monogamy, which is where the relationship is not monogamous, but has open communication and consent - and say it works because they are "so honest and truthful" with each other. "

She said: "I think for us it's a few things that make it work so well."



"Over time Kyle has said 'I've realised I think the reason I love our relationship and it's working out is because it's the first time I've not been non-monogamous in a relationship'."



"In his previous relationships his partners would be upset if he was gone all the time for work and Kyle, of course, would be all over the world in his job as a guitar technician and would want to flirt."



"Now he can tell me all about those things."



"It gives us the ability to be so honest and truthful." "

Hayley shares her experiences on social media and calls herself as a 'polyamory guide'.



She said: "Kyle is very very supportive - more supportive than anyone in my life."



"He actually comes up with videos for me to do, like topics."



"One of my main goals is to create a community around bisexual women who want to open their relationship to understand their sexuality and who they are."



"Women from age 18 to 60 have been contacting me saying they've never felt so seen." "

Kyle said: "Ethical non monogamy works for us as a couple because we both believe in the fact in a relationship no one "owns" or has control of the other person. "

"As a male it's important for me to communicate to her that I do not believe she belongs to me in any way, only to herself. "

"Hayley's passion for a pastry or another partner is part of what makes her so magical to me as her partner!"