‘I have rare facial paralysis – evil bullies called me GOLLUM but now I know I'm beautiful'

Woman, 27, with rare facial paralysis taunted by bullies fulfils dream of ‘smiling in mirror'

A woman who was born with an extremely rare condition has shared her heartbreaking story of wishing she could “just smile”.

Tamara Wiedersum was diagnosed with facial paralysis, also known as facial palsy, when she was a toddler.

As a result of the condition, which is caused by a dysfunction of nerves, a person may no longer able to move some or all of the muscles in one of both sides of their face – and it affects around 15 in 100,000 people every year.

It can come and go in some cases however, the now 27-year-old has lived with the condition her whole life – with evil bullies taunting her at school, even referring to her as The Lord of The Rings character, Gollum.

It took doctors a year to diagnose Tamara, leaving her parents devastated.

“It affects the whole right side of my face, even my eye, which doesn’t close completely,” Tamara, from Frankfurt, Germany, told Jam Press.

“My parents visited multiple doctors to find answers but they were faced with more questions instead.

“Since I was their only child back then, they were even more concerned and kept asking themselves if they were the ones that had done something wrong.

“Especially my mum, she kept feeling bad about it, and not getting any answers made it worse.

“[After a year], they told us that the facial muscle on the right side might have been damaged before or during birth.

“And since I couldn't use it properly as a child, it got even weaker and might have degenerated.

“[When I was growing up], they [bullies] would call me Gollum, ugly, and pirate, they would point out everything about my looks to make me feel bad about myself.

“[As a result of the trolling], I started feeling too short, too chubby, too annoying, not good enough in general.

“They would push me against cupboards, leave a window frame open right above my head, throw things at me, destroy my report card by spilling water on it intentionally.

“It made me feel angry but also helpless.”

Tamara’s paralysis has also stopped her from doing many things that other people take for granted, such as whistling or blowing bubbles with chewing gum.

As an adult, aged 23, she consulted surgeons for help in easing the paralysis by having a cross-facial nerve graft in 2019 and again in 2020.

In 2021, she also had eye correction surgery, which has helped her sight and some minor facial corrections.

Explaining why she waited until adulthood to have surgery, she said: “There were times when I really wanted to undergo surgery when I was younger and my mum consulted doctors concerning that matter.

“The possibilities back then brought a big risk with them though, since my working muscles and nerves could have been damaged as well.

“Therefore we waited until I was able to decide on my own if I really want the surgeries or not.”

The biggest change to Tamara’s life? Finally being able to smile.

She said: “The cross-facial nerve graft is basically implanting a muscle and a nerve into the affected side.

“The nerve was implanted during my first surgery and the muscle was implanted during the second surgery in 2020.

“After recovering, I could finally smile.

“It felt amazing, when I felt my right side move for the first time and I couldn't believe it.

“I still can't really believe it, it still feels like a dream sometimes.

“When I'm looking in the mirror now, I grin at myself happily and find changes again and again.”

In 2023, Tamara finally has her confidence back and feels “beautiful”.

She gets plenty of support from family and friends, and has a boyfriend, having found love three years ago.

Tamara said: ““I met my boyfriend just after my second surgery.

“It felt weird doing my facial exercises but even if he didn't know me well back then, he showed so much support and acceptance, it was overwhelming in a good way.

“I was a bit unlucky with boys before that and I might have also been too insecure about myself to be able to have a relationship.

“I have many wonderful people around me; [thanks to] my supportive family and friends, I have grown to love myself over the years.

“As a teenager, I once dreamed I'd wake up one morning, look in the mirror and just be able to smile on both sides.

“This dream has become my reality now and I'm more than happy and grateful!”

And she has a message for anyone else with a facial difference or disability.

Tamara added: “Never forget that you are beautiful and awesome the way you are.

“I know it's not always easy, but you can do it!

“ Believe in yourself and your capabilities.

“You are not alone, there are people around you, who love and respect you – just the way you are.

"There's always something you're good at. For me, that is singing, dancing, playing piano and writing.

“Find the things you're good at and you will have an outlet that heals you and makes you stronger. If you know what you're good at, you automatically gain confidence.”

ENDS