A woman who chooses to lives apart from her partner of seven years says bi-weekly date nights and sleepovers "keep the spark alive". "

Jessica Hawk, 56, met boyfriend Michael Novick, 61, at a Superbowl party in February 2019 a year after her divorce from her ex-husband of 22 years.



The pair have been together since but still live in separate apartments just a fifteen-minute drive away from each other.



Jessica was "so excited" to have her own space after her divorce – working three jobs to ensure she could afford to live alone - and didn't want to give it up after meeting Michael. "

In a similar situation, Michael, a lawyer, "understood completely" and now the couple see each other for dinner on Thursday and date night on a Saturday where they catch up on their weeks."



Jessica says she is in a living apart together relationship or LAT - and doesn't have any plans to move in with Michael in the near future.

Jessica, a retired teacher and content creator from Glassboro, New Jersey, USA, said: "It wasn't so much a thing that was a definitive conversation but it just sort of came up."



"I said after living with my ex-husband for 23 years and having roommates before having my first job and no money to afford my own place, living in college and with my family before that."



"I was so excited to finally have a place of my own and really enjoyed it - coveting that peace and alone time or the way my apartment stayed exactly as I left it."



"He had moved into apartment after his separation and divorce and he was not pushing for anything either way."



"He listened to me and was understanding completely so it never got into a subject of us living together."



"For us we've always said we wanted to keep Saturday night as a date night – we'll start in the afternoon, go for dinner and it's a sleepover night guaranteed."



"We always have a Thursday night dinner and can catch up on what's been happening in the work week."



"We get together and are eager to see each other, spend time together and don't have fatigue being together all the time. "

"I am always eager to see him - he's an amazing, amazing person and checking in each night with each other, seeing him and looking forward to being with him is something I look forward to and spending time together. "

Jessica relished living alone after separating from her ex-partner in 2018 and decorated her place "exactly" as she wished."



She said: "For the first time in my life I have my own space and I can make decisions about the space and I could see me not being eager to give that up."



"Of course when you're first dating you're not thinking about living together but I made it pretty clear I loved having my own space."



"As the relationship developed into year two, three and four people were asking us, ‘where is this going?' 'Are you going to live together?' or ‘Are you going to get married?' "

"I said, ‘why do we need to have a decision on this at all?'"



"Right now I've got over 3,000 comments on my video from so many people living in this situation and a lot of people saying ‘I love this', or ‘I never thought of this, how does it work?'"



The couple sometimes see each other up to five times a week, although Jessica says that is "rare", but they still vacation together and spend holidays with each other's families."



They are set to move even closer together, just a five minute drive away, in November 2025.



Currently Michael packs an overnight bag every Saturday to stay at Jessica's larger, two-bed apartment, and has his own drawer in the bathroom.



Jessica has found commenters online have discussed ‘habit incompatibility'.



She said: "I had never heard of the term before."



"A lot of couples live together build and slow resentments - one person's neat and tidy, one person's not as neat and tidy."



"One person could think the habits they have are fine, the other can find them annoying."



"If not expressed it can build resentment but if it is expressed can build resentments as it can seem like one person is controlling the other. "

"I'm very good at being on my own I'm never bored by myself."



"I love my own company and really don't need someone to fill space for me because there's no void."



"My family wasn't surprised I had no plans to co-habitat."



"It was the same thing with his family, they said whatever you both agree on and makes you happy"."



Partner Michael said: "'Living apart together' suits us because we love our own space and routines. "

"Jessica is an astonishing, funny woman who is always thinking, planning and creating in her career and I do not need to be in the middle of that process. "

"Nor does she want to be at my place smelling baked salmon."

"When we see each other it's exciting and fresh. "

"We catch up on life, go to movies and restaurants, and spend weekends and vacations together. "

"If there is a Netflix series that we bond on we will hold off on watching the next episode until we are together again. "

"We connect every night by text, as she is the most engaging texter - and person for that matter - that I know"."