In some modern Chinese weddings, the tea ceremony remains one of the most significant traditions, where the newlyweds show their respect to the elders in their families, and they in turn show their acceptance of the marriage. In Chinese, the expression “drinking a daughter-in-law’s tea”—which references the tea ceremony—often represents a wedding, which goes to show just how important this tradition is to this day.

The Chinese tea ceremony is conducted on the day of the wedding and sees the bride and groom serve tea to their parents, in-laws, and other family members. Symbolizing the union of two families, it is a meaningful part of the day, typically taking place inside the couple’s respective family homes.The couple, often dressed in traditional wedding garments (the qun kwa for the bride, in particular), will kneel before their elders and serve them tea, with the help of attendants (usually bridesmaids). The parents and in-laws are the key recipients, and sometimes other relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles will also take part.

Today, however, most people see the tea ceremony as a symbol of the families’ welcoming the bride or groom into the family. Drinking that tea symbolizes the parents not only recognizing but also accepting a new person into the family. She goes on to note that “this is especially so for the groom’s side of the family.” (As is the case with many Chinese wedding traditions, the groom’s family takes precedence over the bride’s.) It’s also an expression of gratitude from the couple’s part. “It means: ‘I am marrying into this family, I will show my respect by serving tea to the elders.'